


The Aquatic Guru

by Gilli_ann



Series: Pornathon challenge fics 2014 [1]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Magic Revealed, Summer Pornathon 2014
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-09
Updated: 2014-09-09
Packaged: 2018-02-16 18:39:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2280489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gilli_ann/pseuds/Gilli_ann
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur is depressed. Flatmate Merlin knows what to do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Aquatic Guru

**Author's Note:**

> Written for **Challenge 1 - _"Sexpistolary (Texts From Last Night)"_**
> 
>  **Text Chosen as prompt:** “(352):" I think it would be like really awesome if scientists could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so I could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE” 
> 
> **Disclaimer, applicable to this entire series:** This version of the legendary Arthurian characters belongs to the BBC and Shine TV. I make no profit from this and intend no copyright infringement.

**The Aquatic Guru**

When Merlin returned home, Arthur sat hunched in his very rumpled suit, staring morosely at a shot glass and an open bottle. 

The only light was the green shimmer from Arthur's aquarium by the couch.

Merlin sighed. “The board meeting didn't go well, I take it?”

Arthur grimaced and poured liquid from the shot glass down his throat with practised ease. 

“Arthur...?”

“My father's just... he's never content! I'm never good enough! Fuck it. Just forget about it.”

“You seem well on your way to oblivion, true. But this isn't the way to deal.”

Arthur slumped back, staring blindly at the ceiling. Next to him the aquarium bubbled soothingly, a small world of lush plants, rocks, goldfish and a turtle. 

In the sheen from the tank Arthur's face looked drawn and faintly green. His hands were trembling. 

Worried now, Merlin sat down next to him. 

They'd been best mates in childhood, but their paths diverged when Arthur started on his business degree while Merlin struggled (and frequently failed) to make ends meet as an artist. When they reconnected years later, Arthur had immediately offered to let Merlin room with him. Just until Merlin's gravity-defying art installations gained recognition and the big money started rolling in, he'd explained. Merlin was deeply grateful.

He nudged his friend. “You're the best manager Pendragon Industries could possibly have. Don't do this to yourself.”

Arthur snickered. “I'm a failure. The earnings are down. My strategic errors are very disappointing.”

“Didn't your father approve that strategy himself?”

Arthur shrugged and reached for the bottle. 

There was a soft splash as the little turtle launched itself from a rock into the water. Merlin studied it. An idea was forming. He acted quickly, before he could regret it. 

He gestured at the aquarium, whispering a word of command. His eyes glowed golden. 

The green light blinked out. 

Arthur hiccuped in surprise. “Don't kill my goldfish!” 

The light returned. Merlin grinned in delight. His magic was not always reliable, but this time it had obeyed him.

“Arthur, look!”

The turtle had been transformed into a tiny grey animal, bobbing jauntily in the water. It had flippers, whiskers and a friendly, open face. 

Arthur drew a shaking hand across his eyes. “God, I'm so sloshed! I'm _seeing_ things!”

“Please don't be so hard on yourself,” the little creature admonished.

“Augh! That grey blob is _talking!_ ” Arthur pulled back, nearly landing in Merlin's lap. 

“Everything will be OK,” the animal assured him.

“This is a calming manatee, Arthur.” Merlin's voice was gentle. “My spirit animal, and my gift to you. It will always be here to support you and to remind you what a wonderful person you truly are.”

The tiny manatee in the water looked at them with a benign expression. “You're stronger together. Love conquers all. Why aren't you fucking?”

“Ehm...” Merlin said, blushing. His magic was playing tricks on him! “Hush, you silly animal!” 

Cross-eyed, Arthur turned to face Merlin. “Yes, why _aren't_ we fucking?” he inquired.

“Because you're very drunk? Because you'd be horrified later, and hate me forever?”

“I would not!” Arthur exclaimed with inebriated earnestness. “I love you. I've pined and I've lusted and I've wanked _so much_. I want you right now!” 

“Fortune favours the brave,” the manatee intoned approvingly from the glass tank. 

Merlin only hesitated a moment. “Manatee, avert your eyes!” he ordered.

The grey creature obediently disappeared behind the water plants.

x - x - x

Merlin woke up aching deliciously all over. There wasn't a position they hadn't tried. Magic was extremely useful during sexual acrobatics.

Arthur was lying squashed against him on the couch, heavy and sated, snoring softly. 

Merlin wrinkled his nose. The two of them stunk of sweat and semen and morning-after breath, and they seemed to literally be glued together. He wriggled. 

Arthur opened his eyes. 

“Good morning, I hope the sex was prolonged and satisfactory,” the calming manatee said.

“Oh, it was great!” Arthur confirmed enthusiastically. He smiled at Merlin. “You actually have magic? That wasn't just delirium?”

“I do have magic.“ Merlin admitted his big secret with a slight tremor in his voice.

Arthur rubbed against him happily. “It's brilliant! Just imagine how we'll use your levitation skills! Oh Merlin, I love you!”

The tiny manatee looked them over, sniffing pointedly. “Why aren't you fucking right now.... in the shower?”


End file.
